The Top-Ten Ways to Know You've Been Playing TEC Too Much

10. You quit your job / drop out of school to play the game.

9. When you find yourself in trouble, you look at the sky and proclaim your woes.

8. You spend more time logged into the game than you do at work.

7. You cancel important meetings and dates to attend events.

6. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer while your spouse sleeps.

5. You think that if you're wearing a hood, people won't recognize you.

4. After a long session of playing TEC for 14 hours.. you consider the GM's your gods, and the SP you gained as precious as gold nuggets.

3. You get angry at people around you when they can't hear your thoughts.

2. When you stub your toe, you accidentally say "Ereal damn it!"

And the #1 Reason is:

1. You find Scott controls more aspects of your life than the government.

Other Reasons Include:

You start shopping around for the latest toga.

You think the United States should stop sending troops to Kosovo... and turn its attention towards Cinera.

You begin to dream about the game.

You prefer to watch television with the closed captioning turned on.

When someone says, "What did you say?" you respond, "Scroll up!"

When you hear a joke at work you think of typing the command 'laugh' rather than actually laughing.

You begin picking every flower you see and digging up saplings from the forest.

You carry around all your belongings in a large sack.

When someone sees a rat in the kitchen, you say, "Where?" and grab a knife.

When your friend asks you how your favorite sports team is doing, you yell, "That's OOC!"

You begin talking to sales clerks and cashiers in short, abbreviated sentences.

You see someone walking faster than you and grumble about modem speed and ISPs.

You insist on having a flashlight with you when walking at night.

You look at a picture of something beautiful and see lines of text like, "Before you is an enormous green statue..."

You whisper to your doctor, "What rank are you?"

You're driving when the traffic is moving too slow and you mutter about the damn lag.

You are at the store buying something and the cashier tells you, "That'll be $250.00" and you say, "and that is what in gold cents?"

You are out hiking in the woods and start scanning in all directions for bandits.

You house catches fire and as the rest of the family runs out yelling for you to leave...you say , "Not yet! I have to kill this damn Cineran Heavy!"

You refer to the last eclipse of the millenium as "The Day Ereal Darkened"

You see a Dodge mini van commercial and think about Armed Combat Maneuvers.

The first thing you go to type is the up arrow key, followed by enter when you touch a keyboard.

At work you think about ways of hiding near the toga, and getting angry when you think about that one guy that wants you dead.

GSP... and GPS get you mixed up.

You schedual the only date you've had for a year around that once in a lifetime event.

Lunch time at work is time to eat and train... cuz you REALLY need that new skill.

Someone is talking to you and you find yourself ACTUALLY laughing at something you did in TEC, instead of the person.

Your friends can get on the internet and can tell when you're playing TEC by your one word answers.

If you find your conversations getting side tracked by your own comments about TEC

If you can remember making love to someone in TEC than with your husband/wife.

If your husband/wife starts to hate the word TEC and plots to kill your computer.

You learn of this plot and buy a laptop that you guard with your life

If the GM's posting the events makes you do a little dance that your family calls crazy, and you call just a happy dance... *eyeshift*

Your ICQ and AOL list consist of 5 or so friends.. and 30 TEC contacts and friends.

When you play with a friend, your friends find your conversations weird.. but to you and your friend.. they make all the sense in the world...

You find yourself chatting with TEC emotes.. such as *furrow* *sneer* *snicker* *eyeshift*

You complain how the postman always comes late... every day. But the TEC forums are up to 50 more messages when you don't log on for a 24 hour period.

When the first thing you do upon arrival at work is to stand up on your desk and shout, "Hello Office!"

When you start complaining to your landlord that rooms at the Short Oar are better than this and a lot cheaper too.

When you use your own home-made weapons to see if the TEC moves really work in real life.

When you start responding to people using "Aye" and "Nay" rather than "Yes" and "No".

When you insist on wearing a rain coat even on sunny days to protect your belongings from those ‘damned thieves’.

When you complain to a store manager about the stores lack of selection in tunics, breeches, and togas.

When you take the time to read ALL 750 forum posts in one day.

When you haven’t missed an event since you opened your account for fear of missing out on those 1 or 2 extra gsp (or even worse, constantly asking off of work and skipping school to attend as well).

...your RL pet's name is the same as your IG pet...

...you ask your priest what Sect of Ereal he's in....

...you use your character's name more often than your own...

...you refer to yourself as your character and ask 'who?' when someone says your real name...

...you wander into the alleys in your city looking for thugs to kill...

...you see a magician palming something and yell out "Thief!"...

Your roommates answer the phone and before they say its a wrong number ask... "Did you mean Shade?"

You've started a sentance in ICQ or AIM with 'Think'

You've given up on sims on mIRC because you keep trying to use commands only supported on TEC.

You try to "look" in a chat room or "look" at a chatter and when it doesn't work you think, "Well how am I supossed to know how things look in here?"

You see something funny and instead of starting to laugh you say "giggles".

You watch Star Wars: Episode I and continually say 'sidestrike, strike, strike, pivotsmash' during the final lightsaber fight.

Having to void a check because you signed your character's name.

When you ask someone you just met, "And who do you play?"

Dreaming of TEC...except with no pictures...just text flowing past you the whole time...yes, I've had "text-dreams"!

Feeling this overwhelming urge to pet people...

You type in a sentence and immediately recite it.

You pass by a rat and wonder how many gems it ate today

You run around the sandbox and scream out, "The crowd calls for blood, face me like a true gladiator Harythean scum!"

You think that Long John Silver's is a front for Tuchean Pirates.

You bow before a picture of Scott and praise hail to the founder of your new religion.

You win July's RPer of the month and keep telling people you can't wait till you get enough GSP to actually use your new gladius.

You buy groceries, and when writing the check ask, "How much is that in Denar?"

You see a pretty flower and think, if only I was an herbalist.

You go on a camping trip but keep staring at the ground for those blasted snares.

You wonder why you can't buy any retalq gladii for your RL collection.

You freak out because you haven't seen Aera, Invex, or that Dark Grey moon lately.

You say, "Fourth of July?, I thought it was still Scran"

...you name your children after people in the game...

You find yourself waiting in line at the check out counter wondering to yourself, "I wonder how many denar he's carrying.." then you try to ear for coin his wallet.

You go to the bank and confuse the bank clerk by saying, "Inv" over and evr again.

You sharpen quarters and wait for a woman with a purse to walk by.

You whisper everything other than in character stuff for fear of lightning bolts.

...when you actually dream about being in TEC in 3D...

...when you ask the local priest where the temple of Ereal is...

...when you attack a rat, because there might be gems inside...

...when you have three IMers and 95% of the people play TEC...

...when you see a group or people wearing hooded sweatshirts, and leave town, because you think the Guild is after you...

...when you are afraid to walk through woods, because you might get ambushed...

when you pick up a large stick and try typing "weild" but find nothing to type on.

when you feel the uncontrollable urge to say "eyeshift"

when you actually say "eyeshift" *I've done this before, boy was that embarassing*

when you curse the damn lag because your walking slow down the sidewalk

when you go home to ready your blade for the Cinners only to find you dont have a blade

when you solve all your problems by mauling those weaker than you and running from the imaginary connies

when you start hearing other characters talking

when you think TEC would make a great TV show

when you see everything in text form

when you havn't eaten in days because you've been too busy getting more sp

when you think you can craft a fangstave out of a small tree with your bare hands

when you spend hours in the sewers looking for rats and snakes

when you yell "help constable" if sombody attacks you on the street

when you say "only in practice" to your sparring partner (only applies to ppl who take forms of martial arts *shrug*)

when you actually say things like "laugh" and "smirk" instead of doing them

when for no good reason you give sombody a swift kick in the ass

...you actually stop thinking about anything because you're afraid everybody will hear it

...you need help on something, and start yelling for an Auxilii

...the voices in your head start identifing themselves as Annatar, Cennueus, Tarsos, Callisto...

...you reguard the voices in your head as normal, and friends a long distance away.

...when you look on a map and wonder where Monlon is

I have actually dreamt the text was scrolling too fast.

Or my daughter has said outloud "stops eating" when we were at a fast food restaurant and she was done. *giggle*

Though I've not actually done this, I've wanted to speak "smile" instead of doing it.

I get embarrassed wanting to type "grin" in an e-mail, knowing they won't know why the heck I'm doing that.

You scour the menu in a restaurant for the alligator meat and pear sauce pie.

You complain about the price of drinks in the pub, grumbling that you could get posca cheaper.

You think there's nothing kinky about whips.

Oh, and speaking of TEC dreams, I live in Iridine in my sleep. But they're always really bizarre dreams. I once dreamed that Cleburnus was wearing a hooded cloak and hiding in my cupboard.

How about when your outside and you get excited, so you actually yell out 'howl!'

If you play with another friend, and you mimic Venina and grunt at each other... and your friends wonder if your wierd..

You dream about Scott becomming part of your family, and making all your characters superhuman

If you dream about Scott... period

You don't know where Italy is, but it sounds like it's near the Safelands to you...

After taking a bath, you drink your water.. *GROSS*

Screw the nice 5 star hotels in New York, your still looking for a Stone Toga Inn room... even if it's just for a night and you are willing to pay good money... err talents.

You actually call people ijits

When you miss your first date in 5 year, for that sweet event in which you can get that new retalq gladius engraved...

You wife conspires to kill your computer, and has sent several large letters to Denver taking about a law suit... in which she states that Scott programs illegal drugs into the script.

You'd rather take a raise in your RP gain (from 1-1.50/1.75 per hour) than an actual raise at work.

If you have ever dream't about your character... period.

If you keep a log of what you plan to train next, and who you are going to beat on when you get good enough too

If you waited for a dog for sooo long, and now you have to listen to others complain about how much noise it makes, while you yell back, "I can't help it! It's over-emoting!"

You ask what kind of metal boisin and retalq are.. *actually did when I was really tired in Chemisty class...*

You play TEC so much that your mouse is dusty, except for the left mouse button, which you need to double-click to get to TEC

TEC being your homepage for your IE

You get a discount from the phone company, and the internet service gives you your own private line..

Hours are not real... only RP matter anymore.

When going somewhere, or getting something special you think about it this way.. 'Only 10 more RPs to go!'

If you have had a relationship with someone in TEC and it becomes so much that you want to meet them in Real Life.. *I know this is true, I've heard the stories and seen it myself...*

You think you know about Rome, and start spouting off random things about TEC and it's armor and weapons...

...you look in the library for a book on the Altene Language.

...you try to pass Altene off as your foreign language in college.

...you go to the bank and ask the conversion rate for dollars into denar.

...you bathe with your clothes on.

...you never go to the library because you figure it's locked.

...you go to the bank, and wonder why your account is recieving interest.

-You don't see a problem with trying to give a bank clerk your backpack.

-You don't understand what all the fuss is about when you pull a knife out of your bag while you're in the bank.

-You run around you're hometown, renting out all the hotel rooms you can, and then try and sell them to people on the street.

-You wait 7 or 8 seconds after you stand up to do anything.

-You see a box of cheap jewlery at a fleamarket for $.50, and you buy it up, because it's *never* that cheap.

-Anyone who has an interesting face and nice clothes becomes a GM, and you try to talk to them as much as possible.

-You won't go to town to buy clothes because the bandits have been wandering onto the road.

-You experience flashbacks after a battle with Cinerans.

-Whenever you come across roadkill, you jump out and skin it to sell later.

-You can't understand why the KFC chicken you put in your bag a month ago didn't stay fresh.

-Your friends ask you to go to a movie, and you refuse, because there might be an auction in Iridine.

-Your friend asks you to help put on a bandaid, but you roll your eyes and say " I don't know that move."

-You don't understand how someone could break into your room, since Scott disable picking door locks.

always walk around at night carrying a torch

when you figure you can light stuff with your bare hands

when you spend more time talking to people IG than with your family or friends

when all you friends are people you actually MET in the game

when given the choice between TEC and your boy/girlfriend you actually have to think about it

you say "say" when starting sentances

you've gotten fired for more jobs since you started playing then ever before in your whole life

when you dont even notice you entire lower body is asleep and dont care because you can still type and left click things

Your parents call for you to come to dinner, but you say 'no, I've already eaten three roast muttons and I'm stuffed!', before you realize they were talking to you and not your character.

You go to the nearest pet shop to try and buy an Iridine hound.

You wonder if you take your RL dog to the sewers, if it'll become scared and always run away from everything afterwards

You change your name to be the same as your main character's name.

You get a job studying Roman history in hopes that it'll help you in the game.

Everytime you ring a bell, you hope to hear "Scott responds to you from afar..."

You're fencing with another, but your partner beats you badly. He says 'What's wrong? you won't attack me or even block my attacks?' You say "I don't know those skills yet"

Someone tells you (if a guy) to wiggle and you say 'I can't, must be a 'chick' thing.

you're quoted as saying, "A life? TEC is my life, I am "

You write an essay on Rome for History and keep referring to the war between Iridine and the Cinerans.

You don't play Cowboys and Indians, you play Legio and Cinner-scum.

You see an unusually large beetle in the Garden and say, "By Ereal, The pod Beetles are evolving!"

You can't cook, clean, or do anything genuinely productive and blame it on those darn limiting mechanics.

you think that in a few more days you'll finally have enough RLRP to order that custom Harley you want.

You see all the masks at Halloween and in a fit of panic and rage draw close your shotgun, a rapier at your side. (The white men in jackets placing the appropriate do not trick or treat here, Crazy person at bay, optional)

You wish banks were open 24/7 like Senedas.

You get bored at work and abuse the post office resources by looking for the postcode for the Stone Toga Inn (The poster, surprisingly, did not find it.)

...if you go to a magician and try to start a lynch mob for him afterwards.

---You walk into the store and wonder why you can't just ask for the stock.

---You carry around the mop you just bought like it's a spear or a stave.

---You take the silks (flags) off of the colorguard's flagpoles so you can spar people with them.

...while spinning the ROTC rifles at school, you say out loud, "Hey, this would look cool as a stave move!"...

...when you walk around the backyard with a big stick and jab at innocent little lizards, and when you actually manage to kill one, you run inside, get a knife, and skin the thing...

...if you try to sell the dead lizard's guts to your friends or to Wal-Mart...

...when you attempt to write a story with the people's names as Annatar, Ton, Shalini, Quintillus Granius, and *your character's name* as the main character, leading a huge legion of people against a strange army to the Northeast...

...when you hide under the table during lightning storms and scream out loud, "No, I swear I won't do it again! I'm sorry!"...

try to use the 'walk to' command to walk to work

When you unlock your door, and wait for the roundtime to finish so you can OPEN it.

When you hang up the phone, you close your eyes, then blink.

When you go to bed, you say goodnight, and wait for the litany of "goodnights" in your head.

When you are sitting with friends talking about everyday life, and it's your turn. You begin with, "Well I woke up, greeted everyone and went to the swamps with my axe wielded...."

When someone says something a little offensive and YOU say, "Mutter", then glare at them.

You get glared at because you just called your friend by another characters name.

Your Messenger has names from either the welcome area or the game of TEC.

You are more in touch with the politics ingame than in the REAL world.

You dream the solution to your plot dilemma...

When you saw the treasure hunt thats comming on the 20th, you immediately asked for the night off of work...

Your friends stop by for an hour and you never knew they were there....

Your mom tells you a joke she just heard and you have your character laugh.....

- you wait in forest clearings to be ambushed

- you visit every bakery in town looking for Rajeans apple and almond pie (sounds good though doesnt it?)

- you have special colored sacks made to hold all your stuff in

- every piece of leather goods you see, you wonder how much Venina would buy it for

- someone tries to attack you with a knife, and you go defensive and laugh uncontrollably at them

- you always cook your food over an open fire

When you're fighting with someone and you punch them and break their nose, you say 'I punch at bully, Critical Hit! The force of my hit breaks the bully's nose and obscures his vision!'

You walk into a church and call everyone heretics because they don't worship Ereal.

You selected a phobia for your character because you have it in RL.

You spend more time trying to mend your IC relationship than you do your RL relationship.

...it is more important to pay your cable internet connection bill than any other utility bill.....

...you can survive for two or three weeks solely on the food you find on your computer desk....

...you misplace your car keys and curse under your breath the name of the current thief plaguing Iridine....

...your super-fantatic, brand-new video game console bores you to tears....

...you begin to have urges to 'flail' in real-life situations....

-You get angry when cold baths don't heal cuts and scrapes faster

-You say your actions as you do them

-Ya sta't talkin' like dis in 'eal life.

-Your always asking your friends to hunt rats with you, in which they reply: Don't be gay dude.

When you pick up and take home clothes that you find in obscure locations like alleys, and on the side of the road thinking you're all lucky because they can't be found at the tailor's store by the harbor..

When you loot dead guys and try and sell all their things on the street..

When you go and join the army, and wonder why they won't let you use a gladius..

When you find a rake or other trident-looking tool in your garage, and take it into a nearby stadium.. and attack the nearest sportsman, thinking it's the colosseum and you're Dacius.

More to come! If you think that we've incorrectly ranked these Syndrome Symptoms, let us know through feedback.